Period of Adjustment...

First off, let me start this post by stating that having children is an adventure. That's not opinion, that's just fact. Whether it's a wonderful adventure or a trip through a B-movie horror house can sometimes depend entirely on your own personal perspective.

That being said, everyone who has ever had a child knows that with the adventure comes the adjustment(s). Sometimes it's a small adjustment - one or two little things here and there in your life/household that need to be moved around a tiny little bit to make things work. That's how it was with Maron. She was always so calm and cautious that we hardly had to make any child-proofing adjustments other than putting a gate at the top of the stairs so she didn't accidentally roll down them as she came out of her bedroom door.

Now enter Marida. Marida the Monkey. The Wee Pixie Devil. Two Feet of Terror.
The list of adjusment I have had to make to my home and my habits is long and ongoing...
• I have had to child-proof all under-sink cabinets in the house
• I have had to keep all bathroom doors closed at all times. Additionally, I now have to close all toilet lids after each use so that, in case my youngest does manage to break the bathroom threshold, I will have a few extra seconds to discover her and extract her before her arm goes elbow-deep into the toilet water.
• I had to stretch a bungee cord across all the lower cabinets in my laundry room because Marida will open them all and take out every piece of glassware she can find and play with them.
• I have to keep the laundry room door shut at all times because in addition to the cabinets, Marida is also able to open the junk drawers and reach my spare sunglasses and box knife.
• I had to, this very morning, completely rearrange my silverware drawer and move the steak knives to the middle back slot instead of the far right, because Marida is now able to open the drawer, reach in and extract the silverware from said slot.

I love my children, I really do. I love them from the top of their perfectly-shaped heads to the bottom of their big-for-their-age feet. But as the Universe is my witness, sometimes it would be nice to know that if I forget to move my coffee from the front half of the desk it will still be there when I get back because my 18 month old has not pulled it off and doused herself with a moderately warm beverage.

Home

Yesterday Steve and I brought our children to Spokane for Thanksgiving. A 3:00 am power outage, a 4:55 am ferry, driving rain, a snowy pass and one burnt out headlight made for a long journey, but we got here to my parent's house safely just before 11:00 am. And as much of a pain in the butt that it was to be totally packed and ready to leave by 4:40 in the morning, it was nice to get such a ridiculously early start. Even though the children didn't sleep nearly as long in the car as we had hoped for (30 minutes max?! Really , girls?), the roads were all but devoid of traffic, especially in front of us, making for a less stressful drive (one we were out of the pass, that is). And it allowed us to keep our blinders on for the majority of the drive through darkness.

Now I am sitting on the couch in the livingroom of my father's house. There are pillows behind my back, a blanket on my legs and the coffee percolator is almost done percolating. But better than all of this, even, is the sound of the massive gust of wind that go blustering by every few minutes. I love the wind; it is my all-time favorite force of nature. And yes, there were huge wind gusts at home in Kingston yesterday morning when we were getting ready to leave on our journey, but you know what the difference is? I am sitting here, in the comfort and warmth of my parent's house with the complete and absolute confidence that the power will not be going out. A confidence that I am never able to enjoy in Kingston. The fact is that Kingston looses power more than any place I have ever lived in my life. The power doesn't ususally stay out for too long, but that doesn't make it any less annoying when my coffee maker is programed to turn on at 4:oo and everything goes dark at 3:00.

That is one of the things I miss the most about Spokane - the almost total lack of power outages. Because as pretty and safe as Kingston is, home is where you don't have to race through a shower in a flashlight-lit bathroom because you know the hot water tank is going to run out quickly.

I woke up this morning and looked out the window and saw a thick layer of frost coating the roof of my house. I'm not surprised - not in the least. We're halfway through November now, deep within the clutches of Autumn. Winter is on its way, and with it will come snow for many people. Granted, I live in the Pacific Northwest, which is mostly void of snow each year. But for the first 20 years of my life I lived in Spokane, which gets snow each and every year. Some years it starts early, some years it starts late, but it always shows up there eventually and sticks around until Spring.

I don't hate the snow. I grew up in it and know how to deal with it; I can walk in the snow, drive in the snow and have the time of my life playing in the snow. And shovelling snow from the sidewalks and driveways was always one of my favorite activities on a cold Winter evening.

What I DO hate is all of the bitching about the snow. It annoys me to no end that the first time there is the slightest dusting of white powder in easter Washington the people en mass take to Facebook/Twitter/Whatever to bitch about it. I can't stand all of the "OMG it SNOWED!" or "Snow snow go away!" or my personal favorite "Okay, who ordered the snow? You are in BIG trouble!" Seriously Spokane?! It snows every fucking year. All of the people I know who live there know how to drive in the snow because they do it EVERY YEAR. Spokane isn't like other places that see snow so infrequently that entire cities are forced to shut down. For example, the one day that I saw snow while living in Marietta Georgia I went to Pep Boys to buy chains for my tiny little pickup truck so I could get to work. I was informed that driving with chains on your tires was illegal in Georgia and I would have to go to Louisiana to even buy chains.

Don't get me wrong Spokanites, I'm not just picking on you; I feel just as annoyed when people in Seattle bitch about how much it rains. (Don't even get me started about how the first rain after summer sends the freeway drivers into panic 'drive like an untrained idiot monkey' mode.) And I understand that there are times when the weather is so severe that it starts shutting down towns and affecting lives - like Ice Storm '96. But those things don't happen every year, and when they do happen most of the people that do they cyber bitching aren't able to because their power is out. So get used to it, people. The cold season has come and is bringing with it the frost and the snow and the ice. It happened last year and will happen again next year, so let's everyone accept it and move on.

Every morning when Maron gets up we get her dressed and she comes downstairs and wants to watch her cartoons. We only have the most basic of 'basic cable' (seriously - we have 28 channels and one of them is static and one of them is Spanish), so the only cartoons available for my kids are on PBS. Which is a good thing, because every kid's show on PBS is educational. The usual morning line up for Maron goes like this: Curious George, then The Cat In The Hat Knows A Lot About That, then Super Why. There are other morning cartoons on PBS that Maron watches, but those are the big three. And of those big three shows that Maron loves, the one that annoys me... the one that really chaps my ass... is Curious George.

Now before you judge me as bad mommy of the year, let me just say that I know it's a show designed for little children. I know it's fun for them and easy to understand and is frought with lessons that become evident by the end of every episode. But despite all of that, I find myself annoyed each and every day by ust about everything in the show. Like the Man in the Yellow Hat. Seriously?! That's his name?! Yes, he's a man, and yes he wears a yellow hat, but WTF?!?! Out of every single person the Man in the Yellow Hat deals with, both in the city and the countryside, not one of them calls him by a proper name. Bah!

Then there's George himself. Somehow, week after week, the Man in the Yellow Hat is surprised at the shenanigans his monkey gets into, but everything is always forgiven because somehow every ridiculous situation turns out right. Such as the plumber fixing the low water presssure in the apartment building wouldn't have realized where the leak in the pipe was if George hadn't dug for a well in the four foot patch of dirt in the sidewalk where the tree was planted because he wanted to take a bath. It's ridiculous and insane, but nobody seems to notice or mind. They all just accept George and all of his little monkey foibles because they know his intentions were pure and his heart is always in the right place. So what if the Man in the Yellow Hat is late for all of his
appointments because George turned back all the clocks in the apartment? He was just trying to give the Man more time to get things done. And so what if George caused the Man to get poison ivy while they were at the park? His helping the Man caused a group of scientists to know that another scientist's invention, which the Man was supposed to show off in a video conference for some reason, was so easy to use a monkey could do it. But through all of it, no one seems to realize that the reason things involving George go wrong in the first place is because HE IS A FUCKING MONKEY!!!!!!!! A MONKEY!!!!!

Of COURSE things around him are going to go wrong. You know why? Because he is a FUCKING MONKEY!!! He's not curious, he's an idiot. And the Man in the Yellow Hat is an even bigger idiot because he lives in an apartment in New York City and is shocked - SHOCKED I tell you - when his pet MONKEY does something ridiculous that casues trouble for him and everyone around him. And speaking of everyone around him, who the fuck are these people that they don't realize that all the trouble in their lives is coming from the Man's monkey?! Why is anybody still friends with him?! Because if it were me and I owned an upscale Italian restaurant in the city, as soon as some dipshit in an ugly hat come walking through the door with a monkey I would tell him to take the poo-flinging primate out of my establishment and never come back

Annoyed

We are now a full week plus a day into November, well on the way to Thanksgiving. All around me (okay, all around on Facebook) people are listing one thing every day that they are thankful for. People so far have been thankful for their families, their loves, cars, bubble baths, the weather... It's all very well and good and terribly, terribly sweet. I thought about doing the same thing, because I really do have a lot to be thankful for, but at this juncture I find myself unable to go along with the great thankful masses on this one. Because when I look inside, deep into the depths of my secret heart of hearts, I find that I am annoyed.

I am annoyed at the world. I am annoyed at society at large, and I can't think of anything to do but rant about it here, where my negative energy won't affect the people around me. So here, in the great, vast blogosphere, I will spend my month ranting and raving about what annoys me the most in this world. It won't make a difference in the great scheme of things, but it'll make me feel better by a damn site.

So here it comes... Right now I find that I am really and truly annoyed by Kim Kardashian. All of the Kardashians, really, but as Kim Kardashian and her failed/sham/whatever marriage is what's splashed all over the internet home pages right now, she's the one my annoyance is focused on. Because Kim Kardashian had this big, elaborate and expensive wedding to a basketball player she'd known for less than a year and people are shocked - SHOCKED that she filed for divorce after only 72 days. And now the world is completely abuzz with questions about whether the marriage was real or a publicity stunt, what's going to happen with her uber-gaudy engagement ring, what's going to happen with all of the wedding gifts... And my question to the world is this: WHO THE FUCK CARES?!?!?! What does it matter?! Why are we the world so concerned with the vapid circus that is all things Kardashians? Kim Kardashian spent $2 MILLION dollars on her wedding and made 3 times that much off of the hype and publicity of it, and all the while there are people in this country who can't afford health insurance for their kids. People who are losing their homes because they were laid off from their jobs and can't find work. There are people who are lying awake at night worrying about how they are going to feed their children the next day. Meanwhile Kim Kardashian's family keeps talking to the media in her defense, saying people don't know her and why can't the world respect her privacy and blah, blah, blah.

I am annoyed by Kim Kardashian. I am annoyed by society's obsession with all things Kardashian, and what I want more than anything is for Kim Kardashian to be eaten by a bear.

Hooray for Halloween!

This was the first year since 2004 that I dressed up and went out for Halloween. Bill and Paul, my former West Seattle neighbors, were having their bi-annual Halloween party at their house in South Park. Steve, ever the loving husband, agreed to spend the evening watching the girls so that I could go out and play. (We would have dressed up the kids and taken them, but the party started at 7:00 pm and their bedtime is at 8:00. Plus I think there were a few too many murderous clown decorations at the party for very small children to handle.)

I dressed up in my old rag doll costume. It's something I made for the last Bill & Paul party I went to in '04. I hadn't worn the costume in 7 years and hadn't been able to even pull it over my head in 6 years. So imagine my delight to find that I could once again put it on and make it work! Below are just a few of the awesome pictures that came out of that party night, starting with me doing my creepy rag doll pose...



Barbara came dressed as Tank Girl, while Bill was a zombie and Paul was a vampire.




Georgi came dressed as a very snazzy pirate. I don't remember where she said she got her boots, but if she ever wakes up in a dark alley minus her footwear, it will be because I knocked her out and stole her boots.

I had a hugely awesome time at the party, and was so thankful that I got to go out and play with my old friends. And I have to say that, out of all the Halloween parties that went on last weekend, Bill and Paul's was by far and away the best. But then again, theirs is ALWAYS the best Halloween party!!

Back in the saddle again...

Well after a much abused hiatus from serious exercising and eating well, I am back to getting fit. One grueling day at a time.

Last week was the beginning of my return to exercise. I restarted the Insanity workouts, though I didn't do the full weeks' worth. I supplemented one day with a 2.5mile walk (which, having to push 70+ lbs of kids and stroller up and down hills, made for a really good workout) and one day on the recumbant bike. But I did work out 6 days in a row, which is what the Insanity schedule calls for. And at the end of the week I was VERY proud of myself.

This week is Insanity again, and I'm over the startup hump and plan to do it all 6 days. Also this week I am getting my eating back under control. I was doing really well yesterday until late afternoon, when the banana bread on the counter became too tempting to resist. Papa Murphy's pizza for dinner didn't do me any favors either. But this is a brand new day with a brand new opportunity not to throw away 38 minutes of hardcore, blinded-by-sweat cardio on bad food choices.

All in all I have done an amazing job exercising and losing weight this year, if I do say so myself. Unfortunately a couple months of lazy, devil-may-care attitude have set me back a fair bit, but I am confident that if I keep my head down and pull my shit together I can end out the year at or very near the low-weight point I reached in July, which also translates as very near my goal weight. My holiday resolution this year is that January 2012 will find me in a much better physical state than January 2011 did.