Every morning when Maron gets up we get her dressed and she comes downstairs and wants to watch her cartoons. We only have the most basic of 'basic cable' (seriously - we have 28 channels and one of them is static and one of them is Spanish), so the only cartoons available for my kids are on PBS. Which is a good thing, because every kid's show on PBS is educational. The usual morning line up for Maron goes like this: Curious George, then The Cat In The Hat Knows A Lot About That, then Super Why. There are other morning cartoons on PBS that Maron watches, but those are the big three. And of those big three shows that Maron loves, the one that annoys me... the one that really chaps my ass... is Curious George.

Now before you judge me as bad mommy of the year, let me just say that I know it's a show designed for little children. I know it's fun for them and easy to understand and is frought with lessons that become evident by the end of every episode. But despite all of that, I find myself annoyed each and every day by ust about everything in the show. Like the Man in the Yellow Hat. Seriously?! That's his name?! Yes, he's a man, and yes he wears a yellow hat, but WTF?!?! Out of every single person the Man in the Yellow Hat deals with, both in the city and the countryside, not one of them calls him by a proper name. Bah!

Then there's George himself. Somehow, week after week, the Man in the Yellow Hat is surprised at the shenanigans his monkey gets into, but everything is always forgiven because somehow every ridiculous situation turns out right. Such as the plumber fixing the low water presssure in the apartment building wouldn't have realized where the leak in the pipe was if George hadn't dug for a well in the four foot patch of dirt in the sidewalk where the tree was planted because he wanted to take a bath. It's ridiculous and insane, but nobody seems to notice or mind. They all just accept George and all of his little monkey foibles because they know his intentions were pure and his heart is always in the right place. So what if the Man in the Yellow Hat is late for all of his
appointments because George turned back all the clocks in the apartment? He was just trying to give the Man more time to get things done. And so what if George caused the Man to get poison ivy while they were at the park? His helping the Man caused a group of scientists to know that another scientist's invention, which the Man was supposed to show off in a video conference for some reason, was so easy to use a monkey could do it. But through all of it, no one seems to realize that the reason things involving George go wrong in the first place is because HE IS A FUCKING MONKEY!!!!!!!! A MONKEY!!!!!

Of COURSE things around him are going to go wrong. You know why? Because he is a FUCKING MONKEY!!! He's not curious, he's an idiot. And the Man in the Yellow Hat is an even bigger idiot because he lives in an apartment in New York City and is shocked - SHOCKED I tell you - when his pet MONKEY does something ridiculous that casues trouble for him and everyone around him. And speaking of everyone around him, who the fuck are these people that they don't realize that all the trouble in their lives is coming from the Man's monkey?! Why is anybody still friends with him?! Because if it were me and I owned an upscale Italian restaurant in the city, as soon as some dipshit in an ugly hat come walking through the door with a monkey I would tell him to take the poo-flinging primate out of my establishment and never come back