Workout Diary, Day 2

Dear Diary,
Yesterday I got up at 4:45 am, got dressed, started a pot of coffee and started my workout. It was the Fit Test, the easiest workout in the Insanity program, coming in at only 25 minutes. I did okay, but I've definately done better. I realized it's been too long since my last round of Insanity. Far, far too long. My legs were a little sore, but not too bad.
This morning I woke up and my legs hurt worse than they did when I went to bed. But I still got up at 4:45, got dressed, started the coffee and started my workout. Today is was Plyometric Cardio Circuit. I couldn't even remember the last time I had done that workout. I looked it up, and it was June 4th. Almost 3 damn months!!
I did the workout to the best of my ability, and I think I did okay. At least, I did okay for not having done it in so long. but it was hard!! And the pain I had in my leg muscles this morning is nothing compared to what it is now. My legs feel like they're on fire!! Every step I take is a half-shuffle, half-limp. I'm sure if Steve were here he'd describe it as a teeter-totter-waddle. (Speaking of Steve, I want to tell you, Diary, how proud I am of him. For the last two days in a row he has also gotten up at 4:45 and rode the recumbant bike while I've done Insanity.)
I think the most frustrating part of being as sore as I am right now is the unexpected nature of it. I mean, I knew it would be difficult to get back into Insanity, and I knew it would feel like I hadn't done it in a few months. But right now my legs feel as if I'd never done it at all! Every step up or down the stairs bring a new and horrifying aspect of pain to my muscles. And you know what, Diary? Tomorrow I'm going to have to get up and work out again! And tomorrow's workout is Cardio Power & Resistance. Aaahh!

For anyone following my diet/exercising goals this year, you know that, overall, I have done very well. Since January of this year I have lost over 40 lbs and I have come a long way to getting into shape. When last I blogged about my weight loss I was a mere 5 lbs away from my 'goal' weight.

Enter weeks of debauchery and lackluster effort that began with my anniversary weekend and continued right up to (and let's face it - through) my daughter's 3rd birthday party (and delicious chocolate cake), and I am now 10 lbs away from my goal. Ugh.

I got up at the beginning of this week determined to get everything back on track, but pent up exhaustion and Mother Nature calling set me back again. Because when your tired and sore and cramping like a mofo, the "I just don't wanna" argument wins out every time. So here I am at the end of yet another week where I haven't worked out and I haven't stuck to any sort of diet, and I'm feeling pretty damn crappy about myself. Now, this is the part where self-pity usually begets defeat, but I'm determined not to go there. I am, instead, going to get some (metaphorical) exercise by (metaphorically) digging myself out of the self-pity hole this weekend, and making a promise to myself and the FGIMH that dawn's first light on Monday will find me leaping and squatting and lunging across my living room, breaking a major sweat to Shaun T and Insanity. It's time to dig deeper again and finish this shit out.

Yesterday was Maron's 3rd birthday party. It was Tinker Bell themed, and it was a great success. A lot of Maron's friends were there and between the cake, the toys and the ball pit, everyone had a great time!

My, but the time does fly...

3 years ago today I was holding my very first baby in my arms for the very first time, and the world as I knew it was changing.

2 years ago today I was introducing my daughter to the wonder and amusement that is Riverfront Park in Spokane.

1 year ago today I was in awe of the pretty, pretty princess that I had created, who was growing and changing every day, right before my very eyes.

Today I watched as my eldest daughter spent all evening "being upside down", with wonder and joy in my heart.

At some point the mewling newborn infant turned into a baby. At some point the baby turned into a toddler. Now, as I live and breathe, the toddler is turning into a little kid and I couldn't be happier.

Happiest of birthday wishes go out to my 3 year old daughter Maron Elizabeth Haag today. Tomorrow is her Tinker Bell themed birthday party (because nothing says 'I love you' like letting a gaggle of toddlers run rampant in your house for a few hours). Stay tuned for pictures!

Of Hats...

Hello Dear Friends,
Allow me to introduce you to my hat. This is the Indiana Jones hat I bought at the Australia Store in Leavenworth, WA while on my 5th anniversary romantic getaway weekend. Aside from one (very cool) Leavenworth beer stein magnet, this is my only real souvenir from that weekend. I thought about getting a t-shirt or a hat that actually said Leavenworth on it, but in the end I decided on the Indiana Jones hat. (I'm not kidding - it actually says Indiana Jones on the band inside of the hat.)

You see, I have wanted an Indiana Jones all of my life; at least, all of my life since I saw Raiders of the Lost Ark (back when I was far too young to be watching movies like that). I thought Indiana Jones, as a character, was so damn cool. I mean, archaeology professor by day, treasure hunter by night? Sign me the fuck up!

So when Steve and I were in Leavenworth for our anniversary weekend and I saw THIS hat at the Australia Store, I knew I absolutely HAD to have it. Not only do I think of that wonderful weekend every time I put it on, I also hear the 'Indiana Jones' theme music in my head.

Duh da duh duh, Da duh duh duh...

So I am feeling very sad today. It's my own fault, really. I was reading a blog this morning that I knew would bring me to tears. It was a blog by a mom who's youngest son died 3 months ago of Neuroblastoma (sp?). He was almost 4. She started the blog after he was diagnosed at age 3, and she chronicled the entire devestating journey. Since his death she has written a letter to him in her blog every day. His name was Ronan.

It was very moving, the things she wrote, but I was only able to read an entry or two before my eyes were blurred and overflowing with tears and I couldn't breathe through my nose for all the snot. I wept for a solid 5 minutes, and although hours have passed I feel no better at all.

Ever since I became a mother I haven't had the strength to read stories like that and not weep like a bitch. It's just too hard to imagine someone, even a stranger, losing a child to an illness like that. Because if you accept that it could happen to someone else, you have to accept that it could happen to you. And that, my friends, is my absolute worse nightmare. More than fires, floods, terrorism and the zombie apocalypse put together, I fear losing my children to illness (knock on wood). The other things you could do something about; whether you're successful or not, you at least have a chance at protecting your children against floods and fire... you can fight off the zombies... but you can't fight off cancer. No amount of strength of body or will can protect your loved ones from something like that, and medical science can only do so much. In the end it's up to the individual who has the sickness to fight it off themselves. And if your child is only 2 or 3 or 4 years old... well they haven't learned how to fight yet, have they? They're bodies are still a work in progress. How can you expect organs that haven't even finished developing to fight off a cancer? It makes me gut-wrenchingly, cold-sweat paralyzed with fear to even think about it. Knock on wood.

My solution to this problem is that, for the most part, I don't ready stories like that. I don't watch or read the local, national or world news for the same reason. I have an extremely overactive imagination, and when I read stories about children getting sick with the plague or being murdered by their parents it haunts me to my very core. And not just children, but the world as a whole. Take what happened in Norway a couple of weeks ago: A terrorist blows up the better part of a building with a bomb and then goes to some kind of island summer camp and starts shotting down teenagers en mass. 90+ dead in total. It was awful, absolutely horrifying. And although I know OF it, I don't know any of the specifics. I don't know who did it or why or how many people were injured or what any of the aftermath was/is/will be. I can't bring myself to read about it because it's just too horrible. This is a major point of annoyance for Steve, who feels that my complete unwillingness to enlighten myself of the state of the world is a major failing. But I have enough trouble sleeping at night as it is. I can't add solid horrible reality onto the massive heap of horrible 'what if' fear because I will go insane. There's too much bad and too much sadness in the world. I don't need to add my own paralyzing fears onto any of it. There's nothing I can do about it, and knowing about it will only make me worry and stress. Worry and stress act as a poison when you're helpless to a situation, so I choose not to know. I feel bad that I am willfully ignorant of all the horrors that are out there, afflicting life and the world and we speak. But not bad enough to have nightmares every night and develop an ulcer in the name of social/political/societal enlightenment.

I had the wierdest, most involved dream I've had in a while last night. It was so in-depth it actually had a cast of characters.

The premise of the dream was all about Transformers, and how human scientists had developed the technology to fuse humans and machines together to make living, breathing Transformer-like beings. The end result was a cross between a Transformer and an android. It was very Iron Man-esque. I don't remember every single detail of the dream, but it started with the short, red haired girl from NCIS: Los Angeles...

She was trying to save a bunch of orphaned children from some kind of assylum where undisclosed scientific experiments were being performed, presumedly on the orphans. But I'm not definate about that. She was there on orders from the Secretary of Defense and was part of an elite military team. I never saw any of the other team memebers faces though, so we'll just focus on NCIS: L.A. girl.

Once the military team had located the children and were in the process of extracting them, they were almost to the exit when they encountered a hallway full of snargaluff pods, best known from Herbology class in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.

The military team had a horrible time trying to get everyone past the snargaluff pods, and a couple of the children were lost in the process. There was also an explosion of some sort, which was bound to have scientific repercussions on the red haired chick and her team. Once they all made it outside a new person entered the dream. A guy named David who I used to be in band with back in 8th grade. I really have no idea what he was doing there, as we were barely friends back then and I haven't spoken to him in 12 or so years. But he was there and it appeared that the military team had rescued him from the assylum along with all the kids.

At this point the NCIS: L.A. chick was really pissed off and got on her telecom and called the Secretary of Defense to find out what the hell had gone wrong and why her team had not been given all of the information they needed prior to entering the facility. Enter the Secretary of Defense:

Right?! Anyway, the Secretary of Defense told NCIS: L.A. girl that she had been given all the info she needed, and that any information witheld from her (L.A. girl) was in her own best interest. I distinctly remember Angelina Jolie saying something along the lines of, "I'll tell you exactly the kinds of lies I have to, but you'll know everything in the end."

At that point Angeline Jolie left her telecom station and went storming down a hallway looking for someone. It was clear that she herself had been lied to and she was looking for answers. While storming down said hallway she passed a bench that had a couple of scientists on it. One of them had a severe twitch in his right eye and was clearly agitated. Who was the scientist you ask? I'm glad you asked. It was none other than Hugh Laurie as Dr. Gregory House.

Dr. House was trying to tell the Secretary of Defense that the explosion that occured within the facility was epic and that it was going to effect NCIS: L.A. girl's team in a major way.

The dream (now near its end) then cut back to the outside of the undisclosed facility where NCIS: L.A. girl and her team had transformed into Iron Man machine people. It appeared that while I was watching the Secretary of Defense and Dr. House talk that NCIS: L.A. girl and ex-band mate David had fallen in love, and NCIS: L.A. girl was trying to convince David to go through the process to become a Transformer as well, so that they could be together forever. He did, but I don't remember what the process involved, so I can't describe it here. I just remember it was really quick and that David was a yellow Transformer. Then I woke up.

I have no idea why I had that dream or what any of it means, or if it means anything at all. I was just glad that it was both entertaining and action-packed and that it had such a varied cast.

5 years later...

August 5th of this year marked mine and Steve's 5 year wedding anniversary. To celebrate we decided to leave the girls with some friends and head out for a weekend a deux in Leavenworth, where even the gas station signs are Bavarian...

We stayed at a lovely little hotel called the Alpen Rose Inn. It had cozy rooms and served a full breakfast in the morning as well as dessert at night.

We got dressed up in our best on Friday (our actual anniversary) and walked from our hotel to town, where we had some pre-funk beer at Uncle Uli's Pub followed by a wonderful dinner at the Cafe Mozart. Imagine my surprise and joy to discover a giant goat on our way to town! It was a resident at another hotel which had a miniature golf course. The goat was there to keep the weeds on the hillside in check.

Steve and I looking hot-to-trot on our wedding anniversary!

Enjoying out pre-funk beers at Uncle Uli's Pub...

The hotel breafast was simple yet delicious...

During our Saturday wanderings Steve and I found an awesome bar called the Post Office Saloon. It was reasonably priced and run by a guy who was born and raised in Leavenworth. It was so cool hearing him tell us about how he remembered the building back when it was still the post office. :-)

My special souvenir for the trip was an Indiana Jones hat I bought at the Australian Store. I've wanted one of these hats my whole life!!

Happy 5 years to my wonderful husband Steve. I love you always and forever!

Arachnofuckyou spiders!

In a perfect there would be no spiders.

No, no, no... don't sit there and try to tell me about how beneficial spiders are and how they keep down the bug and insect population and all that rot. If I need insect control I'll get a Bug Zapper. And the Bug Zapper won't crawl out of my drains and try to bury itself in the carpet on my stairs.

So fuck you spiders. In a perfect world you simply would not exist.