And for my next trick...

... I will transform myself into an full-time employee, as well as a mother and wife.

BAM!

That's right, after 5.25 long years (and I mean looooonng - like, forever and a day, a lifetime ago, I don't remember what it's like to have adult interaction on a daily basis), I have now re-entered the working world, becoming once more a gainfully employed member of society.

Pardon me a moment while I breathe the world's biggest sigh of relief. You see, just between you, me and the fence post, I was beginning to get a titch skeptical of my ability to ever find myself in this position ever again. So I offer up Relief Sighs because

A - I found a job! Between February of this year to a few weeks ago, I put in 82 applications/resume submissions total, and it was getting a tad bit hard to keep my chin up.
B - I found child care for my girls! In less than one week I found a wonderful gal who runs a daycare out of her home to drop Maron off with, and for the obscenely affordable fee of $50/week this woman feeds Maron breakfast, gets her to school, picks her up from school and feeds her a snack in the afternoon so that she's not a rabid beast by the time I pick her up. And for Marida I found Lil' Hawks Daycare, which is both a daycare AND a preschool, and it's right on my way to work. This is another wildly affordable situation for me - seriously, it's the absolute cheapest all-day care I've ever found; $535/month gets Marida breakfast, morning snack, lunch, afternoon snack and even dinner, if I ever find myself stuck late at work. And she has her own cubby in a classroom and is getting SO MUCH MORE interaction with kids her age than she ever has before.
C - My kids LOVE their respective daycare situations! I'm not even exaggerating on this one... The first week of Marida's days at Lil' Hawks found me dragging her out of the building kicking and screaming because she didn't want to leave. And 3 days out of 5 I have to pry Maron's tiny little fingers off of her babysitters doorjamb.
D - I'm still capable of being a valuable employee! This is something I never questioned in myself, but I know that every potential employer did - my ability to train easily and work full-time with no complications after being a SAHM for so long. You see, it turns out that, as an administrative/office type person, if you have been out of the work force for more than 6 months, companies generally consider all your previous skill/ability with office programs to be ca put. And it's really, really hard to convince a potential employer that charting your household finances and personal diet log has effectively kept your Excel skills up-to-date.

Now, deets on my new gig  - My first day of work was November 18th. I work at Johanna Beverage Company (and before you ask, the beverage in question is juice, not beer, so I can't hook you up for your next poker night) as the Logistic Administrative Assistant. On the one hand the title is a fancy way of saying 'Front Office Girl Who Answers the Phone, Sorts the Mail and Signs for Packages', but it turns out there is a lot more to it than that. I am only just beginning to be trained on the other nuances of my position, which will include invoice sorting/matching, receiving, posting of the personnel schedule, supply inventory, and weekly reports ranging from everything to HR updates to downtime of various plant equipment. It's a great job with a very decent starting wage, and an excellent benefit package (so I'm told) once I become eligible. And everyone that I work with is super nice and encouraging. I have a perfect interaction mix of front office 'professional' and warehouse 'funny sarcastic teasing'. This job is so up my alley it's nuts! :-)

All in all, I am SO thankful to have a job again, and SO thankful that it's this job. I feel like I have found a perfect fit with JBC, and vice versa. So pardon me while I pat myself on the back just one more time and say "YAY ME!"